Things Could Be Worse. How’s Your Perspective?
by David J Pollay
I was in the kitchen with Mom. I was 13 years old. And I was going to give the first speech of my life the next morning. The speech would be in front of my teacher and my eighth grade class.
I was nervous. I was afraid my speech would be terrible. I was worried that no one would like it. I was having trouble remembering my lines. I was pacing back and forth in the kitchen.
And then my stomach started to itch. I started scratching. And then my chest itched. I kept scratching. And then my neck started to burn. I ran to the mirror over the sink to see what was happening. I ripped off my shirt, and saw red blotches all over my skin.
And then I felt even worse. I thought, “What if I still have these blotches when I go to school tomorrow?” I looked at my mom and said, “Can this get any worse?” We just looked at each other.
I broke the silence: “Well, at least my face isn’t red.”
Mom said: “That would be worse.”
“And I could have amnesia tomorrow,” I said. “That would be worse.”
We started laughing as we began listing all of the ways that things could be worse. We kept laughing and thinking of more ridiculous things until we could barely breathe. And when we finally caught our breath, we said something to each other that has stuck with me ever since: “Things could be worse.”
Do you have problems that seem as if they will never go away? Do events in your life feel overwhelming? Do you believe that you have been dealt a bad hand in life?
If you are acting as though your life is about as bad as it can get, one way to help you regain your perspective is to say: “Things could be worse if . . .” And then complete the sentence. Do this until you reach the point that you can see your problem, or your life, is not as bad as you thought. When you recognize that you have it better than you were thinking, you have succeeded: You have perspective.
None of us wants bad things to happen to us. Yet sometimes we live our lives as if all the worst things have already fallen upon us. But when we see that we have a lot in our lives that we would not want to lose – no matter how difficult things might be in the moment – we recognize that we are fortunate. We have perspective.
Psychologist Pamela Hartman wrote a chapter about perspective in Christopher Peterson and Martin Seligman’s book, Character Strengths and Virtues. In her research, Hartman found that the development of perspective “is a function not of the passage of time but of life experiences and how people respond to them.” She further noted that researchers have found that individuals with greater wisdom age more successfully as measured by “psychological and physical well-being, satisfaction in multiple life domains, psychosocial development and psychological resources.” Perspective helps bring out our best in life.
When Mom and I stopped laughing in the kitchen that night, I smiled broadly. I realized that I was no longer itching. I ran back to the mirror and saw that the blotches on my skin had almost faded away.
The next day my classmates and I gave our speeches. And after all of us had spoken, our teacher asked us to select the two best speakers. We voted. I was chosen. I was excited. And I learned the importance of perspective.
by David J Pollay
I was in the kitchen with Mom. I was 13 years old. And I was going to give the first speech of my life the next morning. The speech would be in front of my teacher and my eighth grade class.
I was nervous. I was afraid my speech would be terrible. I was worried that no one would like it. I was having trouble remembering my lines. I was pacing back and forth in the kitchen.
And then my stomach started to itch. I started scratching. And then my chest itched. I kept scratching. And then my neck started to burn. I ran to the mirror over the sink to see what was happening. I ripped off my shirt, and saw red blotches all over my skin.
And then I felt even worse. I thought, “What if I still have these blotches when I go to school tomorrow?” I looked at my mom and said, “Can this get any worse?” We just looked at each other.
I broke the silence: “Well, at least my face isn’t red.”
Mom said: “That would be worse.”
“And I could have amnesia tomorrow,” I said. “That would be worse.”
We started laughing as we began listing all of the ways that things could be worse. We kept laughing and thinking of more ridiculous things until we could barely breathe. And when we finally caught our breath, we said something to each other that has stuck with me ever since: “Things could be worse.”
Do you have problems that seem as if they will never go away? Do events in your life feel overwhelming? Do you believe that you have been dealt a bad hand in life?
If you are acting as though your life is about as bad as it can get, one way to help you regain your perspective is to say: “Things could be worse if . . .” And then complete the sentence. Do this until you reach the point that you can see your problem, or your life, is not as bad as you thought. When you recognize that you have it better than you were thinking, you have succeeded: You have perspective.
None of us wants bad things to happen to us. Yet sometimes we live our lives as if all the worst things have already fallen upon us. But when we see that we have a lot in our lives that we would not want to lose – no matter how difficult things might be in the moment – we recognize that we are fortunate. We have perspective.
Psychologist Pamela Hartman wrote a chapter about perspective in Christopher Peterson and Martin Seligman’s book, Character Strengths and Virtues. In her research, Hartman found that the development of perspective “is a function not of the passage of time but of life experiences and how people respond to them.” She further noted that researchers have found that individuals with greater wisdom age more successfully as measured by “psychological and physical well-being, satisfaction in multiple life domains, psychosocial development and psychological resources.” Perspective helps bring out our best in life.
When Mom and I stopped laughing in the kitchen that night, I smiled broadly. I realized that I was no longer itching. I ran back to the mirror and saw that the blotches on my skin had almost faded away.
The next day my classmates and I gave our speeches. And after all of us had spoken, our teacher asked us to select the two best speakers. We voted. I was chosen. I was excited. And I learned the importance of perspective.